NOVEMBER 1, 2022

10 Step Guide to Killing God and Eating His Holy Corpse

  1. Find a knife. It can be any knife; a butcher knife, butter knife, plastic

Or that very expensive steel those door-to-door salesmen are always pushing.

It doesn’t matter, just find a knife.

  1. Sharpen your tongue. Fork it. Use the dull side to scrape off every nice thing

you’ve ever said in your life. Wash the knife in lamb’s blood, dove’s tears, the spoiled oil

of an olive tree. Make sure your tongue glistens with the words

you could never even bring yourself to think.

  1. Pray. God is anywhere that prayer is, isn't he? Set that prayer bear trap

lovingly, somewhere cozy, the living room or bedroom perhaps. Make sure

the prayer is fresh, innocent, irresistible.

Pray in a way that God can't help but notice.

  1. Look at God. Once you are absolutely sure it's God who has appeared

and not some minor angel, take the time to really stare at him,

study him. You will never defeat an opponent without first knowing them.

Pour God a cup of tea, ask him, what’s been on his mind lately.

Disarm him with a plate of fresh ginger cookies and a tone of sincerity.

  1. Seduce God. Notice a slight blush when you ask if he’s ever fucked anyone for real,

not just their lives. Ask God if he has ever had a sloppy kiss, a bit of human thigh?

Once you feel that God has been properly beguiled,

take him in your arms.

  1. Dance with God, show him the latest moves, sweep God off his feet and dip him

until he feels safe, comfortable. Allow yourself to feel safe too. Allow God

to take the lead, if only for a moment. Feel yourself being guided across the room,

Let vulnerability wash through your pulsing body.

  1. Look God in the eyes. Deep, deep in the eyes. Pucker your lips.

Remember the knife. Remember your mission.

The next steps will be the hardest.

  1. Grab the knife. Hold it above God like an ugly halo. Once he feels truly secure,

build the courage to do what must be done. God will be fully aware

of what you are doing (of course) but he made the mistake of giving us free will,

and even God will want to see what's going to happen next.

  1. Break the terrible tension. Kiss God. Let God kiss you.

Realize you have accidentally fallen in love. Allow yourself to enjoy the blasphemous

taste of God’s mouth like a new vintage of sweet red wine. Let God’s tongue transform

your saliva into holy water. Turn your wrist upwards. Drop the knife.

Fall on your knees in perfect prostration.

  1. Accept that you have failed. Bid God farewell.

Do your best not to cry until he has left. Tell God

you will pray to see him again soon.

Dante Novario is an internationally published writer from Louisville, KY who has had writing previously appearing in Firewords Magazine, Peeking Cat Lit, KAIROS Magazine, Coffin Bell Journal, Ghost City Press and others. He was chosen as the featured author of a recent edition of Burningword Literary Journal.